The above picture has nothing whatsoever to do with my post. It's purely for cute value. My son spotted these cute kitties on the neighbors truck tire one sunny morning last spring.:: ::
I generally don't mind making decisions. It's the times I'm forced to make instantaneous ones where I get thrown for a loop. The screen that pops up on my computer when I didn't properly log off the last time tells me to press f1 or f2, and there is this countdown number in the corner that is already to about 6 or 5 by the time I see it, and though this has happened a thousand times before, under pressure, I panic. I just stab at one, and hope it's the right one. And if I crash, I crash. Thankfully nothing serious has ever resulted from my choice one way or another where my computer is concerned. Yet I still fret every time I have to make that choice. It's like I build things like this up in my mind to ridiculous proportions, "Solving the crisis in Iraq is dependant upon your choosing the right button now!"
The same sort of thing happens when you get in line at Costco. You push your loaded cart to the front of the store, you scope out the lane situation, but then you notice a mass of carts coming up the main aisle behind you, and more coming in from the other main aisle to the left, and your palms begin to sweat, your heart rate increases...and then you see the small business owner with two loaded carts headed into the one suitable lane choice, and you don't want to get stuck behind him. You're forced to choose one of the other lanes and hope for the best, because (at least in our area) the place is always so packed that there is no room for error. No room to accommodate lane do-overs. Once you choose a lane, you're committed, and you'd better hope you remembered everything on your list, because there is no getting out of line for a forgotten item.
We were in WalMart a couple of nights ago, and even though it's now open 24 hours a day in our area, it was still packed at 10 pm. Jam-packed. And the weary cashier told me that it's like that even at 2 am! Shopping (and finding a parking space) at that bastion of commercialism is always an adventure. I often end up in aisles I don't need or want to be in, and that I couldn't very well turn around in because everything is wedged so tightly into the store. In actuality, I knew I was in the right area for the aisle I needed, but got momentarily distracted and when I glanced down the main thoroughfare, I noticed a train of carts headed my direction, with a couple other carts nipping at my heels.
In my minds eye, the last grains of sand were about to slip into the bottom of the hourglass, and I was forced to choose in that moment whether to stay the course or make an exit. Even in turning, when I realized it was the wrong aisle, it was too late. I was already committed. To stop and back-up would disrupt the flow of traffic in the entire store, and perhaps set off someones hair-trigger temper, so I kept turning, made my way down past the men's shaving products, took a left around the end cap and down the next aisle, where I was forced to stop at the intersection until I could once again re-enter traffic.
When I shop there, it always feels like I'm one of the sliding tiles in one of those little plastic puzzles where one tile is missing. There is no time for stalling in a WalMart. No margin for error. You must make decisions and execute them with precision and speed, because there are people waiting their turn to be where you are. To form their happy face, falling prices logo on that tile puzzle, I must do my part.
It's surprising to me that they haven't yet brought in scaled down versions of city traffic lights for stores like Costco and WalMart to assist with the flow of traffic. At the very least, they could hire a few extra greeters and equip them with those glowing flashlight thingies they use at airports to guide the planes into the gates. But alas, even if such measures were in place, there would still be those determined, impatient types that would bodily move their carts where they wanted to go when they wanted to go, daring anyone to question his decision, even the greeters that came running up to scold him for disobeying traffic flow model. But I have to ask myself, why is any of this even necessary in our country?
No doubt every country has it's traffic problems in the big cities. That's just a given. You cram millions of people onto one small piece of real estate, and there are going to be congestion problems. Coming out of any stadium after a game or a concert or a school function is testimony to this. It takes a while for the crowds to thin out. But do people in high-density African or Mid-Eastern marketplaces feel the same pressure to make these types of hasty decisions like I do in WalMart or Costco? Impatient people complaining in long lines at the falafel stand, "Hire more workers!" or "Oh dear, I ended up in the Camel Bridle section, when what I really needed was a new rug". In some sleepy little rural Mexican village, do people get impatient and demand, "Quick, I need a bowl of Ceviche to go!" Somehow, I don't think so. They haven't yet sacrificed their slower pace of life on the altar of the almighty dollar.
I think this sort of pressure to make quick decisions is a side-effect of the commercialized, fast paced Western world we now live in. Driving home from work in the U.S. is called the evening rush hour. There are 'fast' food places on every corner to accommodate those people that need to eat on the run. And drive-through lanes at banks and pharmacies. Even coffee, which takes just a couple of minutes to make at home, now has established a corner of the marketplace with drive throughs to get a quick, as-you-like-it coffee beverage on the go (not that I'm complaining, I'm just saying...). We want what we want quickly. On our terms. Entitlement mentality, they're calling it now.
It's like our society no longer has time for things like common courtesy. I walked into a fast food restaurant behind a young man of about 15 a couple years ago, and was stunned when he didn't even hold the door for the ungainly pregnant woman behind him (me), but just let it close in my face just as I reached the door. And don't get me started on how nobody has time to sit down to a decent meal anymore. Or why neighbors of today barely even take the time to get to know each other by name.
In our mad dash to succeed in this modern-day rat-race, and in spite of what we believe to be our prowess on the national scene, we've lost sight of something very vital to our success, indeed the very backbone of what made this nation great to begin with: family values.
We have begun to settle for doing things that really matter in an inferior way. As a nation, the United States is comparatively young on the world scene. It's also a melting pot of numerous other cultures. Some areas within our borders are more fast-paced than others. But like a naive teenager, we as a nation seem to think we have the world by the tail. We've forsaken the more leisurely pace of life that our ancestors from other lands enjoyed. Long meals where families came together to connect daily. No, we Americans think that we've found the best ways of doing things across the board, and just plow ahead doing things in those ways. Industry standards and efficiency are good for corporate business and industry, but when applied in a family setting, things become rather clinical and routine. Sterile. Devoid of the warm-fuzzies that should constitute family life.
These days, we go everywhere by car. We park in designated areas. We drive home each evening, open our garages, park, and close the garage door on our neighborhood, instead holing away in front of our electronic devices and screens. Some kids are even text-messaged by their tired parents to "take out the trash" or IM'd to "Get off the computer and get on your homework." We delude ourselves into thinking that because we're all home, we're having "family" time. But what it really amounts to is a pseudo-family time, with very little meaningful interaction between parents and children. It's gotten to where family life for some is almost robotic.
Instead of being hospitable and always having room for an extra, last-minute guest at our tables as our grandmothers did, we shut ourselves off from valuable interaction with our families and friends by eating on the go. Scarfing down a burger in the car while the kids watch a movie on their in-car viewing screens in the back, instead of truly connecting with loved ones over a dinner table. Not only does our nutritional intake and health suffer greatly, but, like Pavlov's dogs who were conditioned to salivate at the ringing of a bell, our children are growing up to salivate at the sight of fast food logos. No longer do the tantalizing scents of dinner wafting through the house or yard entice children inside for dinner. Many kids of working parents today can't think of a 'favorite meal' their parents cook. Today, when a parent says, "Come on kids, it's dinner time", there is a mad dash to put on shoes and head for the car.
We're allowing something wonderful and vital to just slip away from us. And if it goes on long enough, our children will never know any different, and may go on to do even less for their own children.
What is wrong with this picture? In this modern age, we've gotten from the Biblical model for family life. In Bible times, reclining around a low table for a long, leisurely meal was the norm. It was a time to relax, to enjoy food, family and fellowship. People developed strong relationships over meals. Their digestion was also probably much better.
Families today have become far too goal-oriented, and are rush-rush-rushing so much, they barely have time to stop and smell their dinner cooking as they walk through the front door. Anymore, there are rigorous schedules that must be adhered to, even if it means that poor mom and dad don't even get to sit down and relax after a hectic day at work, but have to drive kids all over town for soccer practice and dance lessons. Not that kids activities are bad, but there does come a point where it's excessive and seriously out of balance. Where it interferes with everything that a real family is about. When husbands and wives begin passing like ships in the night, with barely the time to say "hi", much less connect in meaningful ways, or meet the many needs of their children for parental interaction in their lives, things have gotten out of control.
You may have heard it said, "As goes the family, so goes the nation". It is the parents job to instill in and equip their children with all they need to become God-fearing, contributing and productive members of society. But when parents become so concerned with all the other trappings of life in America, their family suffers.
It's time that parents begin taking back control of their lives, instead of letting their busy, hectic lives control them. It's time parents began limiting how many extra activities each of their children do in a year for the well-being of the family. Is it really necessary for a child to play a different sport every season? And are we requiring good grades in order for them to participate in those sports? Are we requiring our children to help out with things around the house so that it doesn't all fall to mom, and have them leave home one day not knowing how to do anything for themselves?
It's time parents began delegating responsibilities to their kids, and then keeping after them to uphold them. To keep tabs of what their children are doing with their free time. Kids need parents to help guide them in making positive, good choices. That's why God didn't give us the ability to create other adult children from our ribs, but instead equipped us with babies to love and nurture and train up into responsible, God-fearing adults over time. He wanted for us to invest in them, because we learn right along with them.
How is this to be done when we're so busy? So goal-oriented?
It's a matter of priorities. Parents must have their priorities straight. We know from scripture that God values marriage and family. Jobs are important in that they bring in the income necessary to provide for our families. They are merely a means to an end, yet we often place those jobs ahead of our spouses and families in importance. Sometimes we are so busy trying to provide, that we forget about who it is we're trying to provide for.
Husbands and wives need to make time for each other. To really connect. Then they need to set time each day to really connect with their families. If at no other time of the day, families should carve out time to come the dinner table together. It should be the one, relaxing time of day where there is no pressure to rush off to other things, but where everyone gets their chance to talk and enjoy each other's company. Where values and Spiritual concepts are modeled and passed on to children. We should purpose to have a hearty, leisurely and satisfying meal at our tables, with the whole family present. Asking a blessing, having discussion made on various topics, questions asked and answered, food passed, manners impressed upon children, examples modeled by the parents, and relationships strengthened. Some folks even go so far as to have a short family devotion after the meal.
And I say this just as much for myself as for anyone else. Making a family dinner a priority each evening addresses a number of needs within a family. It's not always going to be easy to get a meal on the table each night, or to get everyone together at once for that meal, but anything worth having is worth working for. Our families are among our greatest blessings from the Lord, and we're missing out on those blessings when we allow other things to come first, or we get lazy and grab something on the go.
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