Roller Coaster Ride and Blessings (Part 4)

I know this Roller Coaster ride is getting loooooong...but I'm leading up to something exciting, I promise.

After settling into our new rental, I set up housekeeping giddy with delight.

The kitchen was a dream. Spacious, with granite counters and tons of cupboard space.

I bought new bedding and window treatments for the Master bedroom, and fixed up the boys rooms.

It felt like a dream and we knew it was, without a doubt, a blessing from the Lord.

Though Jericho still occasionally pined after the former rental (mostly because of his buddies in the old neighborhood), everyone grew to love this house.

Judah took his first steps in it.

Jericho enjoyed riding his bike around the neighborhood.

They begged daily to go to the park just a few blocks away.

Jeff was happy to live in a home close to where he worked.

And I loved decorating the house for Christmas.

Shortly after moving in, however, we learned that a friend from church, Roberta, had begun her third battle with cancer.

This time, it had gone to her liver and kidneys. The doctors told her it was a wonder she was even still alive.

Her sons were in our youth group, and in listening to and talking with them in the months that followed, helping them to make sense of things and to trust the Lord through that valley of the shadow of death...it was as though the Lord whispered to us, "You were needed here."

And we were content, and bloomed where we were planted.

Sadly, Roberta lost her battle with cancer.

Over the next few months, a number of other friends and loved ones did as well. It was a difficult season of life for us, but it became clear that the Lord had kept us where He did for many reasons...probably more than we were even aware of.

And this time, we were okay with that.

After having tried to leave this desert for years and each time ending up realizing that the Lord wanted to keep us here, we finally gave up all thoughts of moving out-of-State, and began to think about settling here.

Maybe it was the time to buy a home. The market was favorable for buyers, and prices had been coming down.

After we prayed about it, I began to scour the online listings, and would go scout out the ones with the most potential. If they looked like they had potential, Jeff and I would go look at them in the evenings, all the while thinking, "Was this it? Would we finally have a home of our own?"

Weeks later, through a friend, we heard about this home in the 'country' near where we live.



The brown and tan paint left much to be desired, but we could tell just by looking at it and peeking in the windows that this home had great potential.

We looked up the listing.

It was in the high-end of our pre-determined price range (which we determined we would not, under any circumstances, exceed...even if our lender had us prequalified for more).

We went to look at it right away.

Here is Judah inside the kitchen. I was standing in the great room to take the photo.



It was gorgeous inside (and huge) and in good structural shape. There were a few things we'd want to go ahead and do before moving in to update it a little. And a couple of repairs that would need to be made.

But it was on acreage.

On a quiet country road where I wouldn't worry if Jericho wanted to go ride his bike.

Where there was a view of the mountains.

It was completely fenced and cross-fenced and zoned for animals.

It was everything we'd ever wanted in a home.

It was Mother's Day that day, and over dinner we were so excited about the house that our extended family celebrating with us asked to go see it.

Everyone loved it, and we all stood there wondering if it was 'the one'.

My sister-in-law prayed that the Lord would make it clear whether or not that home was for us.

Afterward, I looked around the property, and it seemed to glow with promise, a breeze blowing, birds twittering in the distance, and no traffic to be heard for miles.

Hope stirred.

Could it be?

Ohhhhhh, the plans we had for that home!

If we could just move in, we were confident we could have that place whipped into beautiful shape in a year or two, at which point the market might finally turn around and we could make a nice profit on it. If we ever sold it.

Meanwhile our real estate agent called the listing agent and learned that there was an offer on the table for $25,000 more than the listing price.

Knowing that put us out of the running for the home, he called to give us the disappointing news.

Someone else really wanted that house, and we couldn't afford to out-bid them.

I was in the grocery store when he called to give me the news.

It was a sad moment. In fact, I got off the phone and broke down into a blubbering mess there by the deli counter, and had to leave the store with Judah in order to compose myself.

I was in a funk all day long.

Jeff came home and was actually worried about me, because I'd been crying off and on most of the day.

It was just a house, after all. Perhaps the Lord was protecting us from some unseen problem with that home.

I'd just been so SURE that house was 'the one'. Out of all the listings we'd been to see, no other house had 'grabbed' me like that one had, and I'd already begun dreaming what I could do to the interior to really fix it up nice.

I'd also made the mistake of getting my disappointed expectations all tangled up with thoughts of unworthiness, as thought he Lord hadn't allowed it because we weren't deserving. Like Peter, I looked at the waves around me and began to sink.

Jeff was actually a little relieved.

Though we both loved the house and had wanted to put in an offer on it, he kept thinking that the price they were asking was an awful lot to shell out, great profit potential or not.

It was a difficult day for me as I mourned that home.

I didn't think I'd ever, ever feel the same way about another home.

Of the dozens and dozens we'd been to see, and the hundreds of listings I'd looked through through up to that point...that one had been the overall best, and seemed to have everything we'd been looking for in a house.

The listing agent called a week or so later to say that the bank that owned the home had rejected the offer that had been made on it. He more or less suggested that if we were to bid higher, we might have a shot at the home.

It seemed we were being tested somehow.

We could jump at the chance (0verextending ourselves) or wait. Trust that the Lord had something else in store.

In the end, we determined that to do so would exceed our predetermined price range, and we just couldn't justify it.

We had to let the opportunity pass.

I needed to learn to trust the Lord's guidance and not go pinning all my hopes on any one house, because there were lots of other folks out there looking at the same homes we were, and there would likely be more disappointments in our home search. Our agent told us that sometimes it took putting in 5 or 6 offers before finally getting accepted on one.

Had I been truly trusting the Lord to guide us to the house He had planned for us, or leaning on my own understanding?

I realized it had been the latter.

A month or so later, we learned that beautiful house had been re-listed for $70,000 more than we were willing to pay and sold.

But by this time, the news was much easier to take.

Because after looking at at least a couple dozen more homes, we'd found another house with great potential.

One that made us forget about the first home completely...