Deep Thoughts

Today marks a very special bloggoversary...300 posts.

I had planned out a highlights post of some of my faves over the past couple of years, but so much has been going on, my plans have changed. This is a post that will go a bit deeper than most.

Because of what happened in Haiti recently, I've been realizing just how oblivious I've been to the sufferings that occur regularly in other parts of the world...things I don't often pay enough attention to.

My heart just breaks for those grieving souls...the vulnerable young orphans left to try and make it on their own. The parents grieving the loss of children they couldn't even find. The abject poverty. The tremendous need on so many levels. The fact that they had little as a nation to begin with and now have nothing.

Truly, even on a bad day, I have little that I can really complain about in comparison. In fact, I am quite spoiled with so much at my disposal. So many things I take for granted.

I am also deeply ashamed I haven't been doing much much more to look outside of my own daily life to help others...and am resolving to change that in a big way this year.

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I've been pondering the legacy of a dear woman in my life. My friend Jonnie has gone to be with the Lord...after 63 years of marriage to her hubby and a long and faithful life as wife, mom, grandma, sister, daughter, friend and longtime Sunday School teacher and Pastor's wife.

I think of the many, many lives that this dear woman has touched down through the years...not because she had a noteworthy professional career (though those are nice, too), but because out of her great love for the Lord she gave of herself and her time and resources so freely. She put others before herself.

When laundry, dishes or making of lunches or other repetitive household chores seem overwhelming or otherwise monotonous and/or unending in my own life, I hope to always remember this woman's example... of a vibrant, doting wife and mother who did many other honorable things outside of the home during her lifetime...but will always be remembered most for the little things she did each day to make her family and friends feel so loved and cherished by her. The high calling that is being wife and mom.

Even in the past year, when her sister or brothers would come to visit, she was known for staying up late to talk and laugh and reminisce. She was hospitable and gracious. She welcomed every person that crossed her threshold in as an honored guest. She was known for sharing the bounty of her garden. She got to know and looked after all her neighbors. She kept up with what was going on in the lives of family and friends and followed up on specifics when she hadn't heard from folks in a while.

When times were hard in the early years of her marriage, she made clothing out of flour sacks for her children, which they were starched and ironed and worn with pride, the kids never knowing that they were 'hard up'. She did all kinds of jobs on the side which helped to make ends meet, and in the process had some pretty interesting experiences.

And boy could she cook!

This gracious, sweet lady was part of the same generation as my own grandma, which I believed served to shape them into the type women they became...the sort which I will always admire. Industrious, hard workers in the home, frugal (having lived through the depression and War eras) rearing children she could be proud of and playing an active role in the lives of them and later her grandchildren and great-grandchildren...loving and doting on all her offspring (especially the babies), always telling other folks about Jesus, sweet to all her pets through the years, and even summoning all her strength to make a big batch of her famed cinnamon rolls for her family on her last 'good' day...Christmas Day '09.

She lived "100% in the moment", never pushing aside her folks in favor of some 'important' project that she was working on, but instead put everything else aside to concentrate on the people in her life while they were there, knowing that they wouldn't always be. Knowing that the best time to invest in those relationships was now, not later.

The people in her life came first, and were more valuable and important than the 'stuff'.

When Judah was about 14 months old, he broke a knick-knack while we were visiting them and she very quickly remarked, "Don't you worry a bit about it, dear...that old 'stuff' is not important...but people are. Accidents happen, but I would never want someone to think I valued this old 'stuff' more than them." And with that, she stretched out her beautiful, arthritic hands and warmly drew my little guy into a hug that assured him that everything was just fine and he wasn't in trouble.

I will never forget that.

She was so goodhearted and sincere...a true Titus 2 woman, encouraging and teaching the younger women who were coming up through the ranks...advising without even realizing it, because her example was all it took. Here all those times we thought we were brightening up the day for some shut-ins, but instead found ourselves sitting in their living or dining room soaking up all those little gems they didn't even realize they were giving away.

The way Jonnie lived was noteworthy...honorable. The sacrifices she had made in her lifetime...so very worth it. Her family and friends are all the richer and better for it.

She and her husband, though they playfully bantered and fussed at each other in the close quarters they shared as shut-ins, were entirely devoted to and still so much in love after a lifetime of shared experiences, sorrows, joys.

I loved how they finished each others sentences (when one would pause to reach for just the right word or forgetting some detail of an oft-told story). They operated as two parts of a whole.

They kind of took turns as caretakers in the last couple of years, and always saw to it that the other's needs were met.

Truly, they reached that amazing and wonderful place in life that so many young people in our self-centered society today will only dream about but few will ever achieve.

A place borne of shared experiences both difficult and joyous, tear and laughter-filled, a commitment that stuck out the hard times, loved when they didn't feel like it, held up their end of the bargain no matter what the other was doing...encouraged each other when they were at a low place, cheered each other on, cared for each other in sickness and in health, til death finally parted them.

I think about how in our world today too many people throw in the towel when times get hard. They just give up. They opt for the easy way out...or the path of least resistance...instead of sticking out the difficult and, at times, uphill climb that is necessary if one is to know that great sense of accomplishment and to see the spectacular view from the top.

Today, some never commit at all. They bounce from relationship to relationship, leaving when the romantic 'feelings' are gone or things get tough. They never fully invest themselves in others. The attitude behind not 'buying the cow' because they 'get the milk for free' is so selfish and very often leads to them growing old alone, having always longed for that deep intimacy and companionship that they know is out there, but never doing all that it takes (let alone taking the path it takes) to get there. Many waste decades looking for that kind of love in all the wrong places.

Their example has been something that is definitely worth striving for. In recent years, Jonnie was the only one able to drive. She would drop Jim off at the door of our church and go park (instead of him dropping her off as he had done for so many years before) and she was happy to do it. In her mind, she was not simply returning the favor, but lovingly doing whatever she could do to make things easier on his old, worn out self because she loved him, and that was what she'd long ago vowed to do.

One such Sunday, he came in alone and sat in their usual pew. A couple of minutes later she followed and joined him. Both were wearing the "Bride" & "Groom" gear which their kids had professionally embroidered for them in honor of their 60th Wedding Anniversary. And though old and feeble, they still sat close, smiling sweetly at each other, glowing in much the same way as honeymooners. Still. After 60 years together.

Like a beautiful and well-built piece of antique furniture, dented and scarred from years of use, but still holding up due to the finest craftsmanship and excellent care over the years, their relationship was built upon faith and had been buffed to a beautiful shine through a lifetime of shared experiences weathered together...a shine which transformed what may have been an ordinary piece of furniture back then into a beautiful and valuable heirloom now.

By God's grace I want Jeff and I to be just like that when we grow up.

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It's interesting how for years you can go without a single death...and perhaps not even a birth in your circle of friends, then all at once...you have a little of everything. Or perhaps a lot.

January seemed especially long for me this year. Perhaps that is because two people in my life have died, two have been diagnosed with cancer, and a new baby was born in our circle of friends within the span of 31 days.

I think about those who died and how they left beautiful legacies of faith in spite of a great difference between their ages...one having lived a long, full life, and one seemingly taken too soon...but both invaluable for their contribution to making this life richer for many others and most importantly in their faithfulness to the Lord.

How though there has been sorrow and grief at their passing, we don't mourn as those without hope. We know where they are now.

How the faith of those closest to these with cancer is being all at once tested and yet refined and strengthened, and how the Lord continues to show Himself to be faithful, seeing to all kinds of details including getting the husband home from war for his wife's surgery and even to extending his stay by two weeks. And to providing a college-aged cousin to step in to help fill some gaps while the mom and dad were tied up taking one of their four children to chemo and various doctor appointments.

As always, I thank the Lord for this sweet little baby, which represents promise and potential in this life, beginning a new generation in his family

I think about how just holding a baby is a blessing.

How there is something especially comforting about holding a baby when suffering the recent or fresh loss of a loved one.

But then...babies are always blessings. Wonderful gifts from God.

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Our family has begun playing board games together in the evenings when all the other necessary stuff our days entail is complete or tended to. It's been a surprising motivator.

We often play these sorts of games while camping, and that has always been a hit, but most of the time our evenings are filled with other things. We've actually had to carve out the time for the 'togetherness' these games require.

Had I realized just how excited the boys would be to sit down around our table and play simple games as a family, we would have instituted this tradition ages ago.

Now, nearly every evening shortly before bedtime, we've got Judah clamoring for Candyland or Trouble and Jericho wanting to play Life, Monopoly Express or Scrabble Slam! (a card version of the popular word game).

The 'express' version of Monopoly is a quick-moving game that doesn't involve the hassle of the paper money and is simple enough for even Judah to enjoy it at age 4.

Scrabble Slam! is a really great game that follows the general rules for Scrabble but only allows for four letter words and doesn't involve a scoresheet. It moves quickly and is very educational at the same time. WAY fun!

And who can resist popping the 'bubble' in Trouble? I can still remember numerous times spent playing that very game with my own parents when I was a kid. It's amazing how things like that bring back a rush of memories. Flashbacks.

While the games themselves are fun, I think the thing I enjoy most are seeing the interaction...that natural ebb and flow that occurs when family gathers around a table. The snippets of conversations, loving interactions or gestures of affection or razzing between family, teachable moments (most pertaining to good sportsmanship and conduct) the life application moments with the kids, and the hilarity that always ensues.

It's been so worth setting aside that brief time from my own usual end-of-the-day unwinding activities to play the begged for Candyland just to hear "It's not fair being stuck on the wick-or-ish" in a round of Candyland. He corrected himself by saying, "Lick-er-lish", but no matter how hard he tried, Judah just couldn't seem to wrap his tongue around the word licorice.

And perhaps the best possible ending to such a fun-filled evening of board games happened just this evening when we all played Trouble. Dad won, but the rest of us all had one last 'guy' within a hair of 'home' and so decided to play it out to see who would come in second. I played, and rolled the 2 needed for my last guy to end up 'home'. Jericho then rolled the needed 4, and Judah the needed 2...bada-bing, bada-bang, bada-boom! It was a beautiful thing...and there were high-fives all around!

I just love the knitting together of memories that occurs with quality time spent together as a family.