Our (Belated) Anniversary & A Snake Story

In Mid-June, Jeff and I celebrated our 18th Wedding Anniversary in what has come to be our annual tradition, dinner out at King’s Fish House. Yummo.

We had just come back from our trip to June Lake, the day before, and were happy to get away without the kids for the first time in a long while.

Around 10 that evening, we had just returned home from a long, leisurely evening spent perusing our favorite bookstore (did I mention kid free?) when we got a frantic call from Jeff’s niece.

“Can you come over? Please? We’ve got a huge snake in our house!”

A snake?? At their house? Wait, did she say IN their house?? Oh, merciful heavens!

She and her mother live a few miles away from us in a more rural part of our desert (rattlesnake country), and folks out there are known to get snakes in their yards from time to time.

Knowing we were celebrating our anniversary, she had first tried animal control and the local police…but in that area, there isn’t anybody that could help. Their dogs were going ballistic and her mother (my sister-in-law) was still recovering from lung surgery. They were desperate.

On a side note, we got a good chuckle when our niece mentioned that her mother (my sister-in-law) and her dog were locked in her bedroom during all of this, as though in grave danger of the snake trying to break down the door to get at her.

Now Jeff has had plenty of snake-handling experience over the years (and just to be clear, I mean the the "Crickey, ain't she a beaut" type of snake-handler, not the type you hear about in Appalachian Mountain churches). As a teenager, he and his buddy Eric caught and sold dozens of gopher and king snakes at a local flea market, and taking this as a challenge, rushed over to assist them.

Earlier, while their back door had been open for a cross breeze, the snake had furtively slithered in under their security screen, and they were alerted to it’s presence when their dogs cornered it somewhere behind or under the sofa and hadn’t stopped sounding the alarm since.

An hour or so later, alive and blessedly snake-bite free, Jeff returned from their house victorious …with the snake(!) Lord, have mercy!

And the kids, whom he’d picked up on his way home so they could see said snake.

Judah was beyond thrilled. “It’s my new pet snake, mama!” he said excitedly as they walked in the door.

“Um, no…it’s not” I replied firmly. Horrified. Completely freaked out.

We have had one too many close calls with Judah and all manner of venomous creatures to know that I wouldn’t get a lick of sleep for as long as that thing was sharing the same square footage we were.

Jeff was not sure what kind of snake it was, as he’d never seen one like it before, but the ‘huge’ snake ended up being only 14 inches long, and no thicker than a thumb at most, and the width of Judah’s pinky at each end. It didn’t have rattles or diamonds, so Jeff said he doubted it was in the rattlesnake family.

Still, it had fangs and was potentially deadly. Always a concern for this mama.

Knowing I would not have a moments rest until I knew for sure whether or not it was venomous, I immediately Googled snakes native to our area, and we were reasonably sure that what we were dealing with was a Western Long Nosed Slider. These are not common commonly found in our area, but not entirely unheard of.

The best news was that it was not venomous. Well, according to the internet sources, anyway, and we all know how sketchy some of those sources can be at times.

Anyway, as I’m prone to do, I was still second-guessing our amateurish identification of it, even though the cream, pink and black markings and descriptions and photos online were all spot-on, distinctive to that type of slider and actually quite a rare coloring pattern for a snake. I guess I was hoping for a lengthy clip of close-up video footage perhaps posted online by some University snake expert or something before I'd feel 100% at ease about my precious babies getting anywhere near it.

Late that night, after making sure the snake was secured inside an enclosed habitat, nestled deep inside a box out in our garage, with a pile of heavy stuff in front of the door leading out to the garage (so that we would hear Judah if he tried to move it to get out there to see it after we were asleep), we all wearily trudged off to bed.

“We’ve got to find another home for this thing,” I stated emphatically, just before falling into one of those fitful sleeps where you’re awakened by the slightest sounds all night long.

The following morning, Jeff and Judah rose early and headed off to the pet store in search of feeder mice.

Yes, we would be finding a home for it, but Jeff didn’t want it to die of starvation in the meantime. There was no visible bump from it's last meal on it's midsection anywhere.

They returned with this...

...which as you can see Judah played with the entire way home.

**shudders**

The man at the pet store said that from Jeff's description it sounded like a Western Long nose, alright, as they were a very distinctively colored snake, known for their cream, pink and black markings and the long narrow head. If it was, he said, it was not venomous.

There it was again, that oh-so-uncertain sounding little word...'if'.

We also learned that it was unlikely that the snake would eat the mouse, as they were very picky eaters and mainly feed on small lizards in the wild. They are apparently a very reclusive snake and prefer that their food did not have human scent all over it.

Too late for that, I thought looking over at Judah.

“Isn’t it so cute, mama?” he asked in that same sing-song voice he uses when crooning to his puppy.

“Yes, it is cute" I replied, heartlessly adding, "but I want that thing fed to the snake right away, so that neither one of them ends up loose in this house!”

But alas, it appeared Mr. Long Nose was leery of the squeaky little rodent, and shortly thereafter crawled into the nearby fake coral to hide.

Later, the poor little mouse had to be dispatched because it was suffering from hunger having not been with it’s mama for hours. Thankfully Judah took our word for it that it had died and did not ask how.

I am happy to report, however, that we did find a home for the snake.

Another niece with a young snake-enthusiast son, said that they would be happy to take it off our hands for us, and it was arranged that her mom would pick it up while she was in town for a visit.

In the meantime, reasonably confident that it was not venomous, Jeff and the boys decided to show the snake off to everyone who dropped by.

**feeling faint at the sight, and a little weak in the knees**

“Okay, now go wash the salmonella germs off your hands,” I warned as soon as everyone had touched the vile thing, and made sure the habitat was taped shut and it was once again deep in it's box out in the garage.

The snake did make it to his new home just a couple of days later where he happily feasted on wild lizards which his new owner so carefully caught for him in a net so that human scent would not affect his food intake.

His owner, our nephew L, has also informed me since then that he was bitten a couple of times, but nothing happened.

**feeling a tad woozy at the thought**

Unfortunately, while the family was camping a couple of weeks later, their cat inadvertently freed Mr. Snake from his habitat and he has not been seen since.

Because the snake was with them for such a short time, the only picture they have of him is the one they got with L's Flat Stanley.

They’re pretty sure it found it’s way outdoors, and is currently feasting on lizards in the wild.

Pretty sure? **feeling suddenly faint**

Not sure how niece K does it, but she's a much braver woman than I! Especially considering that this is not the first reptilian escapee in her house.

All part and parcel of rearing that boy of hers, I guess.

Which is probably why in about 10 years, nephew L will probably have his own show on Animal Planet or the Discovery Channel...

...with some name adventuresome title like "Reptile Wrangler."