What In The World Is A Chip Monkey?

Our toddler Judah, almost 2 1/2, came up and climbed into my lap at the computer the other day. "Mama? I want chip monkeys."

"Chip Monkeys?" I ask, wondering what in the world he was talking about. I quickly thought back through his recent activities and experiences, trying to decipher what chip monkeys could possibly mean in his little toddler mind, but drew blanks.

"Chips?" I asked, beginning with the logical choice of some type of food.

He shakes his head. "No."

"Monkeys?" I asked in a very convincing Mrs. Potato Head voice, as she packed a few barrel-o-monkey monkeys in Mr. Potato Head's 'trunk' for his journey (in the bloopers section of his beloved Toy Story 2). Pictured here is another favorite scene when she packs his "angry eyes".



"No."

"Chunky Monkey?" (not that he would have any earthly idea what that even is. Ahem.)



"No."

"Chocolate Chip Cookies?" I asked, thinking maybe he mistook cookie somewhere for monkey.

"No, mama." Then grabbing my cheeks with his little hands he said, "Chip monkeys." He was pleading with me to understand.

When I couldn't, in a measure of utter desperation, he threw back his head and yelled, "Al-BIN!"

"Ohhh!" I said with a laugh. "You mean The Chipmunks!"

His eyes brightened, and he smiled and nodded, and ran to get his shoes on as though we could just hop over to the nearest store and buy these for him.

Though he's longed for a puppy for ages, after seeing this movie a few weekends ago, he's apparently stored this away in his little head, and is determined that he now wants The Chipmunks instead of a puppy.

Not the stuffed animal versions, either.

Nope, he means the real, live talking versions that he saw interacting with a man named Dave in the movie.

Because, you know, if you see it in a movie it's for real.

And he knows that somewhere out there are some little critters looking just like these guys, that wear clothes, and talk and dance and sing with helium voices, and eat lots of whipped cream on their waffles...and he wants them for his very own.

You have no idea how this scares me.

Especially given that Judah is pretty fearless.

And because though he was just a few months old at the time, he was there when big brother befriended some of these (which I believe were actually squirrels) while we were vacationing near Hearst Castle in California a couple of years ago.

And then later saw a sign at a nearby State Park that said "Beware!", because there had apparently been documented cases of Bubonic Plague (!) transmitted by these in the area.

Lovely.

I won't even go into the hypochondria/paranoia that gripped me when big brother developed a large, puffy and growing red welt on his knee only hours after playing with these critters, which resulted in a midnight trip to a rinky-dink hospital in Northern California, where they determined it was just a badly infected mosquito bite, but went ahead and gave him antibiotics as a precaution. And yes, the doctor there had treated both Bubonic Plague and Rabies cases before, and "no", she assured me, "this was neither".

Still, with the cold sweats I'm already getting thinking about my son's innocent little request, I'm thinking maybe we should rethink our plans of camping in that area again this summer.

And maybe just pacify him with the movie when it comes out on DVD.

If that doesn't work, I'm afraid our only recourse will be to take him to Disneyland and terrify him with the Chip & Dale mascots.