Some people have children who are always doing darling, imaginative or otherwise clever and creative things.
Oh, yes...I know this because I read all about them on blogs.
All of these wonderfully charming and adorable children exist out there which are apparently always doing cute and wonderful things which their mothers always manage to capture with the most incredible photographs of them in all their sweetness and light...
...and then there are my kids.
They do things that are...well, not quite so darling or imaginative.
Like the toilet water incident of a few days ago.
And, more recently, this:
Which was what happened when Jericho was watching a movie while drinking the last of the Martinelli's Sparkling Apple Cider from the bottle instead of the cup I'd told him to pour it into, sucked all the air out of the bottle and then decided to see what would happen if he stuck his tongue in the vacuum.
With his tongue still stuck, it reminded me a lot of the frozen flagpole kid from A Christmas Story except that what my son said sounded something like..."Mo-o-o-o-m...pleath don' bwog abou' thith", which I totally ignored because, hey, this is just the sort of thing that memories are made of in our house.
And then, today there was this:
What's this, you ask?
Why, it's a cute little plastic pet habitat for bugs and lizards that was given to Judah by cousin L a while back.
Judah has been searching high and low for a little lizard to keep inside of it (no doubt to scare the bejeebers out of his mom when it fell off a shelf and the lizard got loose in the house or some such scenario)to no avail.
In the meantime this little habitat has been sitting on our front porch covered in dirt and spiderwebs, having most recently housed a half-dozen earwigs which turned up when Judah hefted aside a cinderblock.
And wouldn't you just know that today, when I finally had something darling and imaginative tobrag blog about, and at the very moment I was loading the pictures of the bracelet that Judah had lovingly crafted at Awana "fo you, mama"...
...I heard the water spigot turn on out front.
The water pressure at that particular spigot causes a very distinct honking kind of sound to blow through the pipes at the front of the house (which is probably a good thing with a mischievous son like Judah) so I promptly went out to see what he was up to.
I found Judah there, the hose with the new spray nozzle only inches from where he stood, clothes dripping wet
cute little critter habitat up in the air
tilted slightly
(okay, take a deep breath 'cuz this is kinda gross)
so that he could DRINK THE WATER THAT WAS DRIPPING OFF THE CORNER OF IT!
Has living in the desert so scarred this poor child that, when thirsty, he feels he must drink water from whatever vessel he happens to find some sitting in, just in case he never gets the chance at another drink again?
I'm quite sure I'll never get that image from my mind.
And I'm pretty sure I'll never stop gagging whenever I think of it.
And please, Kimmie...don't tell me what Cousin L used it for at your house. It's just better that I don't know what manner of salmonella bearing reptiles once called it home.
Yes, some parents have little darlings that are all sweetness and light...but I get snakes, snails and puppy dog tails.
Yet strangely, in spite of it all, I wouldn't want it any other way.
Oh, yes...I know this because I read all about them on blogs.
All of these wonderfully charming and adorable children exist out there which are apparently always doing cute and wonderful things which their mothers always manage to capture with the most incredible photographs of them in all their sweetness and light...
...and then there are my kids.
They do things that are...well, not quite so darling or imaginative.
Like the toilet water incident of a few days ago.
And, more recently, this:
Which was what happened when Jericho was watching a movie while drinking the last of the Martinelli's Sparkling Apple Cider from the bottle instead of the cup I'd told him to pour it into, sucked all the air out of the bottle and then decided to see what would happen if he stuck his tongue in the vacuum.
With his tongue still stuck, it reminded me a lot of the frozen flagpole kid from A Christmas Story except that what my son said sounded something like..."Mo-o-o-o-m...pleath don' bwog abou' thith", which I totally ignored because, hey, this is just the sort of thing that memories are made of in our house.
And then, today there was this:
What's this, you ask?
Why, it's a cute little plastic pet habitat for bugs and lizards that was given to Judah by cousin L a while back.
Judah has been searching high and low for a little lizard to keep inside of it (no doubt to scare the bejeebers out of his mom when it fell off a shelf and the lizard got loose in the house or some such scenario)to no avail.
In the meantime this little habitat has been sitting on our front porch covered in dirt and spiderwebs, having most recently housed a half-dozen earwigs which turned up when Judah hefted aside a cinderblock.
And wouldn't you just know that today, when I finally had something darling and imaginative to
...I heard the water spigot turn on out front.
The water pressure at that particular spigot causes a very distinct honking kind of sound to blow through the pipes at the front of the house (which is probably a good thing with a mischievous son like Judah) so I promptly went out to see what he was up to.
I found Judah there, the hose with the new spray nozzle only inches from where he stood, clothes dripping wet
cute little critter habitat up in the air
tilted slightly
(okay, take a deep breath 'cuz this is kinda gross)
so that he could DRINK THE WATER THAT WAS DRIPPING OFF THE CORNER OF IT!
Has living in the desert so scarred this poor child that, when thirsty, he feels he must drink water from whatever vessel he happens to find some sitting in, just in case he never gets the chance at another drink again?
I'm quite sure I'll never get that image from my mind.
And I'm pretty sure I'll never stop gagging whenever I think of it.
And please, Kimmie...don't tell me what Cousin L used it for at your house. It's just better that I don't know what manner of salmonella bearing reptiles once called it home.
Yes, some parents have little darlings that are all sweetness and light...but I get snakes, snails and puppy dog tails.
Yet strangely, in spite of it all, I wouldn't want it any other way.
Well, except maybe the part about worrying that he'll come down with flu-like symptoms just before our Spring Break plans begin.
11 comments:
This cracks me up! Buddy has been up to so many tricks lately. I know I'm really in for it when this baby comes and gets older.
oh, your naughty, naughty boy. I would love for you to compile a book of these Judah tales for him to read sometime.
Oh! I know when you can give it to him! When he and his wife come to tell you with happy smiles that they are expecting their first son!
Then, you can run to your closet, pull out the book, and hand it over with a knowing smile on your face.
Yes, I can see it all now.
Oh my goodness, I feel such kinship with you! lol. Our worlds - a lot alike. And those pics crack me up. Boys will be boys. Sometimes they drive me insane but like you, I wouldn't trade it for anything... most days. *grin*
You should write children's books, Becky. And parent coping books, too. :) Actually, I happen to think your kids are cute, clever, and v.e.r.y. creative. Bless you for appreciating this. Have fun on your spring break.
lol!!!!
i suddenly feel really normal!!!
Somehow Judah drinking that nasty water out of his pet habitat doesn't surprise me much! What DID surprise me was the photo of the bracelet, because when I scrolled down, all I saw at first glance was the naked body of an elderly hoola dancer, until further scrolling produced the rest of your hand. Now. Tell. me. I'm. perverted. But I cannot express the confusion and bewilderment this first excited in my bosom, seeing it on MY DAUGHTER'S blog when speaking of MY DARLING GRANDSONS!!! Maybe I DO need those bifocals!
Ahhh... boys! My nephews were wrestling just the other day and managed to "lacerate" one of their eyelids and go to the ER.
You definitely have some adventures in your house! Never a dull moment, yeah?
Huh? What? I was thinking your stories WERE the cute ones...
Boys, ya gotta love 'em.
I agree with Gretchen. You should write children's books. You are a very talented writer and the stories you share about your boys are the best!
Ahahaha! Oh boy, gross but sounds like something I did. I would eat dirt with earth worms... I was worse than the boys. Ha!
things like this just make booger-eating seem so yesterday.
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