This is what my family sees when I'm angry. Not pretty, I know.
Our older son used to refer to them as my 'big eyes', after having been corrected for wrongdoing. Back in the days when he used to jump-to when told to do something, or show proper reverence or correction in naughty behaviors when implemented.
But the other day, while I was in the middle of getting after him about something, he half-laughingly joked about my 'big eyes'. They obviously didn't hold the same threat they once did.
My 'big eyes' are no longer as mean as they used to be, apparently.
And the sad thing is, I was trying not to laugh. My expression betrayed a feeble attempt at faking anger, instead of resorting to laughter for the sake of discipline.
Sometimes disciplining children at times like this can be so difficult. They've done something wrong. You know it needs to be corrected. It's your parental duty to do so. But what they've done strikes you as amusing, and you have to pour all your energy into schooling your features to hide the laughter that is threatening to burst forth.
Which is not good when you're in the middle of chewing out an 11 year old that brazenly (jokingly) tried out the phrase "get it yourself, mom" when I'd asked him to get me something from the garage. I was so astonished, that my face betrayed me with a smirk!
Or a couple of days ago when our toddler drew all over himself with a jumbo black permanent marker and was standing there sucking on his binky with laughter in his eyes while I'm in the midst of saying, "Naughty, naughty, naughty! to him. And why is it that my first reaction was to run for the cameras, instead of standing my ground with him?
And where is this sort of thing addressed in parenting books, I'd like to know?
I've been a parent long enough to know that there are no 'take two's' when you're in the middle of disciplining your kid. You have to act while you have the chance. Correct the behavior while you can. All the while commanding respect and maintaining your authority. Slip up, and the moment to correct and instruct is lost.
Which is exactly why I could never be an actor. I would give the director's fits, having to do two hundred re-takes to get one scene just right. I had trouble with my part as Mary in a video segment our church put together for our Christmas production last year. And it was a non-speaking part!
I was supposed to look up in awe when the angel appeared to tell me--er, Mary, that she was with Child. But there were like 25 cast members standing around watching, and one very nervous-looking man angel...and combined with my nervousness, I just couldn't help it. I laughed. And ruined the whole scene. Even after a few retakes in the hurried, one-night production, we were unable to get a 'perfect' shot, and so the best 'take' in the video clip shows a smirking Mary in it.
I still cringe thinking about that one. For me, when I feel a laugh coming on, it's like a sneeze...there's just no going back. As hard as I fight against it, it's gonna show on my face. I couldn't maintain a poker face to save my life.
And this seems to happen frequently. Like when something so unexpectedly funny happens in the middle of the Sunday sermon that you're left practically snorting in your attempt to smother the giggles that are trying to escape? And you couldn't even look at your husband or whoever saw it happen with you, because you knew that if you did, it was all over?
The fake coughing thing usually doesn't work for me, either, because if I set one sound free, the others are all gonna follow. When joy bubbles up, it's like a well shaken soda can...pop the top even just a bit, and it's gonna explode.
Why is it that something like your toddler son naughtily (is that even a word?) throwing a stack of offering envelopes three pews ahead during in the middle of the sermon, which fluttered to the ground like ticker-tape, causing the elderly gentleman opposite the aisle to start with fright...why is this sort of thing suddenly so hilarious at a time when you're supposed to be contemplative and reverent?
Our Pastor had to have seen that happen. Yet was able to maintain his composure and move on like nothing ever happened, while my husband and I were red with embarrassment and our shoulders were silently heaving with repressed laughter. We didn't dare make eye contact with each other (or his mom who was seated behind us) for long minutes afterward for fear of losing it. It was still funny three minutes later!
On the one hand, I feel like I need to do something about this problem soon. Jericho is only growing older, and the way things are shaping up, I'm going to be in for it if I don't maintain control over my facial muscles while trying to smother laughter, especially in the middle of correcting his behavior.
But perhaps, like my role as Mary when we never were able to get a good 'take' of that scene, I'm just destined to have a few disciplinary occasions in my life where I'll just never be able to get a good 'take'.
Maybe this is just one of those occasions where a parent has to choose their battles. Where realizing that having laughter in the home can be just as important as correcting behavior, the intersections between the two just happening to cross with laughter winning out. Rather than a spike in blood pressure due to anger, I needed the endorphin-producing laughter that brings about a feeling of well-being.
The Lord, who knows me best, must know that I need plenty of laughter in my life, because this sort of thing seems to happen a lot around here lately.
3 comments:
That laughter thing in church reminds me of a scene that LaVonne and Bev found themselves in, but it's a little rude to give details here. They are as reverent as anybody I know but this caught them off guard and probably, because they were together, it was impossible to stave off the giggles because even though they never actually looked at each other, they could feel the other one's shoulder's shaking with silent laughter. They were worn out from the experience.
As for pastors, they are used to people doing all kinds of odd things in the middle of his sermon. It must be a gift from God because it is a well known fact that public speaking can be so supercharged wit repressed emotions of all kinds, that most people can't really avoid some kind of response. God bless pastors. I think they have seen it all. One naughty episode involving a couple siblings, ages 8 and 9 or so, thought it was hilarious to chew Black Jack gum in church and then cover their teeth with it and smile (from the front row, no less)huge smiles at the pastor, who never so much as twitched in response. He was even gracious after church! Remember Black Jack gum? I love that stuff. Um, I mean, I developed a taste for it, um, in my young adulthood, never touched the stuff before that ;-) !
LOLOL! Oh boy, do I understand. My second born just has this charming thing about him. He does the craziest things, yet it's soooo hard to maintain a stoic front when issuing discipline.
This past Sunday we were visiting at my in-laws and my FIL is a pastor. He's also this very luvable, slightly absent-minded man. He puts all his energy into his sermons and at the end he looked out at the congregation and said, "Phew. There, that's done. I'm glad I got that off my chest. It's like feeding cattle," and he makes the shoveling-hay motion. I couldn't help it. I BURST OUT LAUGHING!!
The thing is, I knew exactly what he meant. At the end of a Sunday morning, you've put so much physical, mental and emotional energy into doing your best to present what God has laid on your heart, that you're exhausted. It's like you've spent a day shoveling hay, or "feeding cattle."
My mother-in-law was not impressed. LOLOL!
Mom-I think I learned everything I know about holding back the laughs in church from you. Feathers, anyone?
Shauna-That is AWESOME...I would've been right there with you laughing my head off.
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