You're In The Throes of The "Terrible" Two's When...

...your toddler son is already lifting weights

...his hands and face are always in need of a good scrubbing

...he's a constant blur of activity around the house

...he is forever trying on everyone else's shoes (and slippers)

...he tries nearly everything on (his head)

...he gets in to everything

..."Pretendo" only occupies him for about a minute before he catches on that he's not really playing and complains, "Thaths no fay-oh"

...extra latches become necessary high on the front door to keep him from escaping outside all hours of the day and night (and so his mom can get sound sleep at night)

...he's already begun giving you 'looks' when you discipline him

...he only lets you rock him to sleep every once in a blue moon

...and just when you think you're going to go berzerk from all the extra work he makes for you...

...he comes in from the backyard after not seeing you for a few minutes, his face lights up at the sight of you, he runs across the room as fast as his little legs can carry him, arms flung wide, and as you bend and scoop him up into your arms he squeezes your neck and says in his tender affectionate little voice, "I wub you, mama!"

And your heart melts into a little puddle, and suddenly all the spots on the carpet and the handprints on the walls and the breakfast cereal spilled all over the kitchen don't matter quite so much as they did before.